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The 30 Best Alison DiLaurentis Quotes from ‘Pretty Little Liars’

Alison DiLaurentis quotes from Pretty Little Liars

ABC Family

Alison DiLaurentis may be young in age, but she’s wise beyond her years. Not only does she somehow know everyone’s deepest, darkest secrets, but she also understands exactly how to manipulate people in order to get what she wants. Thus, in recognition of the Pretty Little Liars character’s ability to remain the center of attention in life — and, yes, even “death” — we’re celebrating with a list of our top thirty favorite Alison DiLaurentis quotes from the first three seasons.

Check out Ali D’s most poignant observations, sassiest comebacks, and most shocking bits of advice in the gallery below. Then drop us a comment telling us YOUR favorite Ali-ism!

Alison DiLaurentis Quotes

  • You're always better off with a really good lie.

  • But this isn't Yahtzee, sweetie. This is some seriously messed up stuff.

  • I mean aren't you just sick and tired of being you?

  • Friends share secrets. That's what keeps us close.

  • I only kill when we need food. Or when I'm bored.

  • The least you could do is save me the trouble being lied to.

  • Your secrets are safe with me.

  • "You think the truth is some big shiny disco ball of purity? Then go ahead and try it. Be honest, see where it gets you.

  • But I'm like, 'Honey, you better stop poking yourself below the equator.'

  • Once I'm done with that no neck bitch, she won't even exist.

  • I hear breakup sex is the best.

  • Two can only keep a secret if one of them is dead.

  • You know, I really should do something about A. That bitch is genuinely getting on my nerves.

  • You think you know people and then they surpirse you.

  • Your family has the worst apples.

  • Keep your mouth shut unless you want to go back to spending weekends with Dance Dance Revolution and a bag of chips.

  • When I hide something, it stays hid. Until I want it found.

  • Why does every woman think she can change a guy?

  • Itâ��s a nice haul, right? All one of a kind and all mineâ�¦just like you guys.

  • Aria, if you really want to get rid of this bitch, you're gonna have to help Daddy figure out what she really is: a vindicative, home-wrecking bunny boiler.

  • I bet you wish you'd kissed me when you had the chance.

  • Never look back. Something might be gaining on you.

  • If I tell you the truth, you don't have to believe it.

  • Boys play with toys, girls play with boys.

  • Do I look dead to you? I'm more real than I've ever been.

  • I'm not being gruesome, I'm being mysterious.

  • If you ignore it, it will go away.

  • I'm the only one you can count on.

  • Instead of languishing at the kiddy table, we'll be mixing up on futons with frat boys.

  • It's immortality, my darlings.

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Craving more of Alison’s snarkiness? Order your copy of Ali’s Pretty Little Lies by Sara Shepard today and uncover the queen bee’s innermost private thoughts!

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